I am lost without her.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been in a relationship for the past 4 yrs. On June 30,2004 we decided to take a break. My partner is quite a bit younger than myself. My partner said that space was needed so life could be experienced more. I realize this. We had tried to be "just friends" but it was just too painful for me. She didn't date anyone else but I felt her slipping away. But I realize she needs to experience life without me. She needs to find her own way. She expresses how much she loves me and that she doesn't want to do this but feels that she has to. I totally understand. She emphatically says that "I love you and I will be back." She says you are the one I want to come home to. The problem is that we dated before she experienced a great deal of life. I think she has missed out on that. I want to give her the space she needs. To be honest, I am in need of a little space too, to sort things out. But I miss her terribly. She gave me my house key back and I in turn did the same. That killed me but I respected her wishes. She says that "I don't want to go (with major tears) but I just have to do this. I may not like what I find but I have to try. I love you with all my heart and I will be back. You are the one I want to be with."

I want to wait, but I am afraid this make take awhile. But my love for her is like none I have ever known. But we have been arguing for awhile and on June the 30th we openly and regretfully admitted that we lost our ability to communicate. We used to be so good at talking.

Are there any words of encouragement that you can give? I am lost without her. We were supposed to do some things this summer but that looks like a bust. She has a trip planned to go to Europe with a friend for 16 days. I am so afraid I have lost her for good.

Can this have a happy ending? Is it possible for us to get back together? It was a mutual decision, but I miss her.

Lost without my love

RomanceClass.com Advice
This is one of the most painful stories, when two people grow apart and want to have time to work things out. Both of you seem to think that this is the best solution for now, which is good. And frequently it happens where you two will grow back together again. It does happen all the time. So don't lose hope yet. Go have a blast in Europe and write her letters each day talking about what you did that day. Keep the contact in place so that you both can easily come back into the relationship.

You both love each other. So have faith that everything will work out for the best. And if the worst happens and she finds someone new, at least you'll have the knowledge that she will never really stop loving you. Relationships like this just don't end, they will remain for a lifetime, even if you don't get back together again.

But have hope. This is still very new and there is a large chance that you will get back together.

I wish you the best.


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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