A Big Fight and now we're through?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i was in a very serious relationship with this guy for 2 years but towards the last 4 months we started having problems concerning past issues. we got into a huge fight this one night and since then i haven't seen or talked to him at all and it's been over 5 months. there was never even a formal breakup. i have talked to his cousin a few times and he's told me that he feels tempted to talk to me but doesn't because he's way too hurt and angry, and that's exactly my situation. i don't understand how he could just push me aside without even talking to me or even telling me it was over, because that's not like him at all. he really cared for me a lot. and now i'm driving myself crazy because i'm always wondering if he's already moved on or if he thinks about me as much as i think about him, or even if he ever plans on talking to me again. i care for him too much to completely shut him out of my life, but at the same time i'm way to hurt to even talk to him. so i don't really know what to do. please please help
This is the big danger of fighting without backing down. You can very easily say thing that are then hard to get past. And neither of you is sure how to get past it.
Well, take a step. Send him an email or note and invite him to somewhere neutral, a low key restaurant in the area. He'll probably say yes, if just out of curiosity. You don't need to talk serious. Just talk about things in your life, and ask about things in his life. Take it from there.
All relationships are based on trust and respect. You severely damaged that trust with the giant fight. It proved that you were capable of harming each other. Now you both have to work to regain each other's trust, that you can disagree without hurting each other. Good luck!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com