How Do I Talk More with my Boyfriend?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend always feels as though I don't share enough of my feelings with him. The problem is that I don't know how to. It's very difficult for me to talk about myself and correlate the feelings behind my actions or the beliefs that support them. Growing up my family was very "closed," so to speak. We never really were affectionate towards each other, and saying I love you was very very rare.
I know my family loves me very much. However, feelings, emotions, beliefs, religion and things of that nature were never physically talked about. I know that all that was there, because I consider myself a good person that has feelings and the belief of choosing right from wrong, but I don't know how to express my emotions very well.
What are some things I can do in order to focus on how I'm feeling and translate it into words?
The only way to get bitter at any skill is to practice it. So start practicing talking! Set aside time with your boyfriend where it's just the two of you together. Have dinners together with no TV or radio running. Go for long walks. Go for long drives. Whatever it is, deliberately set up time weekly where you two are alone and can talk. You might not talk at first, but after time you will talk more and more. This is a CRITICAL skill to build up and get good at. You need to learn it now - because when a crisis hits, it will be too late to "learn on the run". You need to learn and get good at it now, when things are relatively quiet.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com