She lost those loving feelings

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Dear advisor

I never felt like this before, after I saw one special girl in my life. We knew each other for some years. We talked and shared a lots of things. We had fun and good understanding - we had happy times.
By the time we came to know each other and we both had something in common.. I have known that she has a boyfriend and that they were together for 1 year long but there was nothing serious between them , we both were 17 years old when we met.

Slowly, I liked her we were good friends. After she broke up with his boyfriend, she always call me and talked a lot. We discussed about relationship, actors, films, behaviour and beauty she admired modelling and I always tried to encourage and motivate her. I was really happy for having such a nice person because we always discussed several matters and we both had always the same opinions.

And in the year 2002, in a evening she called me at home and talked with my parents and later she called me on my cell phone and said that she cant concentrate on her studies- she always thinks about me Ö etc. I was really confused I havenít expected anything like that from her, although I liked her. But I never thought about more than a friendship. I havenít given her a quick-answer. By the time we overlooked that and she probably had forgotten that. But I carried in my mind that she likes me and that she still thinks about me.

And times later we met again we didnít go out for food. Or cinema. Nothing but we discussed about her troubles and many other things. Later on one night I dreamed about her, in my dream she was smiling. This dream was so lovely I wished to dream it again. I thought about her saying ďshe cannot concentrate on studiesĒ I thought may be she truly likes me. And I thought why not committing that I do feel the same way.

One evening I tend to call her I was so nervous to tell her what I feel - nervous because what would happen if she rejected. Finally, I had the courage to speak up- then the sad thing happened she said she donít see me as the same way. She wants me as a friend. I was totally confused . I didnít know where to start. I thought she loves me. I thought why she said that she cant stop thinking of me and canít concentrate on her studies. I thought may be she is playing or she thinks that I donít really mean it.

I thought I should prove her that I really mean it. I asked her to meet after her school I pick up her from school and went with her on the way to her home. On the way I asked her and showed her one portrait of her face which I had drawn. Then I saw an eye filling smile on her face. After we reached in front of her house I told her that I really likes her. She said after thinking : I have told you already I do like you as a friend. I donít know why has she changed her mind, why she feel different now. I misunderstood her because I thought she loves me. And so I tried to commit and to prove her that I mean it and so our friendship stepped in danger. I couldnít talk with her because she didnít wanted to compromise or to resolve the problems . Always, when I call she killed my calls. I sent several message to her. I wrote one message saying that I still love her. But not surely know what she thought about my message.

Now time passed, it is one year in between. And I donít have any contact with her. I tried to wish her on her birthday but I was afraid to call her. Because when I call she thinks wrong about me. She scared me to complaint the police when I call her. And I am asking now what went wrong with our friendship. I am so ashamed because she is talking around to other friends about me and her. Every one thinks I am mad or probably an Idiot. I am a good looking , handsome guy. I have no troubles with girls.

Only She is the big trouble for me now. I cant let it go without knowing what she is bearing in her mind. I want to find out if there is any hidden issues. Or just why she intend to avoid my contact. I want to compromise I need a solution. If possible I want to make the friendship and peace between us.

IF you need further details about this matter. I will send it.

I look forward to recieve your advice

Thank you Advice
When she called your parents and then you, you should have been more positive about your feelings. Since you didn't, she started to lose feelings for you so now there is you with loving feelings and she without. You keep trying harder and harder and she just backs away. I don't see any future in your relationship. You need to try to forget her and forget trying to talk it out with her. Sadly, it is over.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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