He left me, then left her
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I wrote you guys awhile back about a guy that,I was seeing and he left me for his ex-girlfriend that,he broke-up with so that,he could get with me. Well,he's left her now for me,again. I spent Thanksgiving with him and this past weekend;it was GREAT. I love him with all of my heart and I don't know if he feels the sameway for me as he did before. It's driving me crazy cause,of me not knowing what's going on inside of his head.
We don't get to see much of one another but,during Thanksgiving weekend and this past weekend we've done alot of talking about him and I and he knows how I feel about him(which he already knew)but,I re-told him,anyway. He told me that,he feels the sameway about me,as well but,I don't know wether to believe him or not. I want to believe him with all of my heart.
After he left the first time I talked to a couple of his friends and they told me that,he actually cares about me and that,he was so, so very sad for awhile. I believe them and I absoluatly want to believe him,as well. I'm so happy whenever,I'm around him or talking with him. He called me today and we talked on the phone for awhile and he told me that,he'd come down if he got the chance cause,he had to help his uncle,first but,he hasn't showed up here at my house,yet. I don't know what to do or what to think. All of his family but,a couple,don't want us to be together and I don't know why. I try to get along with them,anyway cause,of him.
The fact that he can keep leaving people for other people sort of indicates that he's not a very good communicator. He's able to let things fall apart so much that he's willing to break up, and has done this multiple times. So your key to keeping this relationship alive is TALKING to him about it so that if he feels ANY problems, he shares it instead of just breaking up again.
It sounds like it's not easy for him. Heck, it's not easy for most people. So get into practice. Talk about things - little things, big things, fun things, sad things. Make it a NORMAL and good thing that you just just talk. The more you talk, the easier it is to talk. The easier it is to talk about normal stuff, the easier it is to talk about emotional stuff.
Share as much as you can, tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels, be encouraging any time he shares things, let him see and know how much it means to you. He'll learn that talking to you makes you happy, which makes him happy, and it doesn't hurt at all. Hopefully you can get him learning to communicate before something serious comes up and tests the relationship. Good luck!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com