his mother has never supported us and hates me; i found out that i was pregnant
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
i've looked around some, and i hope there isnt already a question like this because i dont want to waste your time. if there is could you please point me in the direction of the page? thanks
i have been dating my boyfriend since September of Freshman year. We're rising seniors now and I am turning 18 in September. He will turn 17 in October. My parents have always been fine with our relationship, they love him as a second son, however his mother has never supported us and hates me. She never lets us forget that I am "satan's spawn" to her. She tells us that our relationship is offensive to God and that we have to break up. She's been really stressful on our relationship and he does his best to ignore what she says and be truthful to me, and i know its hard for him. She's always telling him that she's going to kick him out of her house, that he's not welcome, that she's going to kick him out of the family and stuff like that. Well, he's going away for the summer to spend time with his dad who lives in South Korea (He's in the military) which is cool but she says that if he ever wants to come back to the states to live with her, he has to break up with me. She hasn't been letting him out of the house and she took his driver's license so that he can't see me. Also, before this he's been extremely busy with school and the various groups he's in and hasnt had time for me. I'm afraid the distance is being caused by her and her insanity and i dont want to loose him because of her. to make things worse, since we havent been in contact i found out that i was pregnant. I havent told my parents yet, and i dont know how to tell him, especially since his mom is acting so crazy. i'm afraid she really will kick him out of the house now. I guess what i want to know is how we should deal with her now and in the future, because she'll always be a part of my life now that we're having a baby. i dont want to leave him out of the baby's (or my) life.
Go to your parents first. You're going to need their support most. Explain to them that you're afraid his mother will throw him out for this. Suggest, or get them to suggest, that he move in with you. This way, he'd be there for his child and you two would be together, which you're going to be for quite some time. You're rising seniors, which means you have one more year of school, right? You'll need to figure out how to handle classes and a child at the same time, but I'm sure you can work it all out. Your parents are key to this whole thing, though. Get their support.
On the other side, you may have to cut your future mother-in-law out of your life entirely. It will be very hard for him to do but it sounds like she's going to make it easy and cut him out anyway. There's no way you can deal with a woman like that, no way to work something out. She should have nothing to do with your family unless she can treat you with the respect that you deserve. Insist on it. She has -no- rights to her grandchild, that's been proven in courts many times over. If she wants to see her grandchild, it will be on your terms, not hers.
I wish you the best of luck!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com