The problem is that he has trouble getting an erection

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been involved with a man now for a couple of years.He is a good person and I love him very much.The problem is that he has trouble getting an erection(He's had this problem for several years now).When we end up in bed and try to have sex,it ends up being a disappointment.When he cannot perform,he gets VERY upset and doesn't want much to do with me for awhile.I've told him that it doesn't matter,but,he's told me that it hurts him when he can't satisfy me.I've told him that him holding me in his arms makes me happy,but,that doesn't seem to be the answer he wants.He has even tried Viagra and it doesn't help.I know this is very frustrasting to him.I do understand in that I know that it is difficult for some men to "get it up"(as he calls it).How can I prove to him that I love him just for him?I know that this isn't his fault,but,I think that he can't accept the fact that he can't have an erection anymore.When we are in bed together,we do a lot of kissing,touching,massaging,etc. and I'm happy with it,but,he always tries to pentrate me and ends up being let down.I love him very much and I want to help him.Thank you Advice
I understand what you're saying. If the doctor says that this is just how he is, then there's not a whole lot you can do. But if his point is that he can't please you, introduce him to toys or to the idea that he can please you with hand or mouth just as well as with his penis. Guys seem to think that only "real sex" is worthwhile, when really we women want to be touched all over. Tell him that yes he can satisfy you, he can be a man, just he has to do it in other ways, some of which are probably -more- satisfying than "real sex".

I wish you the best!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!


Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Kissing / Intimacy

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.