my girlfriend desided that she wants to go back and be an escort again.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Is Escorting cheat? my girlfriend desided that she wants to go back and be an escort again. i told her that i considered it cheating but she kept telling me why it isnt i dont really know what to belive anymore. she also gave me her word she wouldnt do that again but we were talking one night and the topic came up and i told her that i love her no matter what and do what you must do i will still love you. did i just tell her that she can cheat or is it even cheating at all?
RomanceClass.com Advice
"Cheating" is typically defined as having physical sexual contact with another, whether it's kissing or touching or sex. So yes, she would be cheating on you. However, because she's been an escort and thinks of her body as an object, she looks at cheating as an emotional issue. You could be cheating on her if you have intimate chats over IM. Some women have such an issue with it that they consider the guy cheating if he looks at a pretty woman walking by.
This difference in views needs to be at least aired, I don't think either of you will change your positions. All you can do is define where you stand on the topic and ask that the other be considerate of it.
Yes, when you said, "whatever you do I will still love you" you opened the door to her doing whatever she wants. You need to talk with her and modify it to "whatever you do, I will still love you, but I'll leave you anyway." and make it clear that if she does the escort business again that you will consider it a deal breaker.
Don't take it that since she's thinking of the escort service that she doesn't love you. She certainly does. But to her, her body's just a body, just skin over bones, it's nowhere near her emotional center and it doesn't matter to her that a stranger's touching her. It's just like shaking hands with someone... it means nothing. So to her it's no big deal. If it's a big deal to you, though, she should be considerate and find another line of work (which is tough -- escort services pay well.).
I wish you luck.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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