My boyfriend has a female friend whom I have known about from the beginning.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi there I hope you can help me. My boyfriend of seven months has a female friend whom I have known about from the beginning. He says they are best friends but I feel that he should be my best friend at this point as well as my boyfriend.

They go out for coffee and lunch at least once or twice a week. We also usually see her on the weekends because we spend time with the same group of people. She calls my boyfriend quite often to see what his plans are. I worry about this because my boyfrined and I are very close I have absolutely no complaints about our relationship. I worry though that this girl will ruin our relationship and stop us from becoming the soul mates that I know in my heart we will definately become.

She is currently in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend was single when they became friends last year. I feel that she uses him for attention that she's not getting from her lond distance relationship and it's just not fair.
Any tips or suggestions in dealing with this damper of a girl and where does a girl in my position draw the line??? Advice
First, if you and he are soulmates, then there's no chance that this girl will wreck what you have. And if she were the type to do so, then she would have done it by now. She's just a close friend of your boyfriend, so don't worry. That he can have close relationships means a better relationship with you. We get so many questions from people who say their guy just won't talk. You are fortunate in having a guy who has good communication skills.

As far as best friend, why would you think that he's not your best friend by now, and vice versa? Once you've shared that much with someone, it has such a deep meaning that nothing can overshadow it. You obviously love one another, so I don't believe that this friend of his can come between you unless you let your jealousy interfere with your relationship.

I guess the main message is: Don't worry. Trust in your boyfriend and have faith that everything will work out for the best. I'm sure it will.

Good luck!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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