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Love cures people, the ones who receive love and the ones who give it, too. --Karl Menninger



He gets mad if i ever mention a guy



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
ive read through your archives and have found a few things similar to my situation but nothing that really hit the nail on the head so here it goes....
Ive been in a realtionship for two years on and off. last summer after dating for about a year, he told me that he needed a break. my friends and family all saw how devistated i was he wouldnt talk to me or see me, to make matters worse over the course of that year his mom and i became friends. and even when we were on this break she still called and invited me over for dinner. durring this break 3 of his friends made a point to contant me and tell me that they belived that he had been cheating on me while we were together. I belived them. towards the end of the summer i was finally begining to move on when he started calling again. i left for school, we started to become friendly again and we started dating again this past october, it took a lot to get over all the hurt and date him again.
When i told my parents that i was back with him they were very unhappy because i wasnt home they really couldnt do anything about it. My second semester my boyfriend became very needy. He has a type of regional pain disorder in his ankle and he had sugury also his mother had surgey. He asked me to miss a lot of my classes to be with him almost every day. My class work suffered becasue of it.
He bought me a cell phone, and pays for it every month. He gets mad if i ever mention a guy, that i used to be friends with because he doent think its right for me to have male friends now. Or if i want to go anywhere with friends hes not comfortable unless he positive their wont be any males their and he gets mad at me if i want to spend time with my friends whom i havent seen all year instead of spending time with him.
My parents, extended family, and friends all hate him. And are constantly telling me that he is really bad for me.
I love him he takes care of me. all the things he does arnt done dilbritly to hurt me or to try to control me but just becasue thats the way he is. i guess my question is do you think that he is trying to control me and if so then how would i go about breaking up with him?
He constantly is telling me that im wonderful and that if i left him he would have nothing. and he keeps making me promise that i will never leave and asking me if im going to love him forever. But every time i see him now i get more and more depressed even if he isnt doing anything wrong. Please help. thanks. sorry this is so long




RomanceClass.com Advice
He is already controlling you. He keeps you from classes, he keeps you from your friends, he keeps you believing that all this is your choice but you are getting more and more depressed when you're with him.

He is a very jealous person who has you in on his game. You are curtailing your own activities to keep him from getting upset. Life shouldn't work like this. Your relatives are right to be concerned with what he's doing to you.

Yes, it's wonderful that he loves you so much, but if he did, then he would have faith and trust in you too and "allow" you to see male friends. sheesh. No one should have the right to allow or deny you your friends!

I suggest very strongly that you break up with this guy and instead find someone that respects you and trusts you and believes in you. This guy does not fit the bill. Just tell him that you feel the two of you are not suited for each other, then wish him the best, hand him back his phone, and move on with your life.

I wish you the best!

--Jenn



-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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