She's Got a Boyfriend and is Chasing Me Too
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
hi there's this girl i've known at work and she sends me strong signals like touching me on the hand and arms , putting her arm around me, telling me things like "we'd be perfect for each other". She also sneaks looks at me.
The problem is she has a boyfriend whom she mentions from time to time in between all this. Once she came to me and said for instance that they went up north and the sex was great - which is inappropriate. When i left the job she seeemed upset and she kept asking me if i'll be in town and when i'll visit. So finally i called and asked her for dinner - she said she'll have to get back to me. I pursued by going to work and talking to her - i told her she is special and we have a lot of things in common and we interact to each other great. She then on her own said yes we will go out and reaffirmed it on her own on the way out. But at some point she also said she might have to bring a certain third person along or else her boyfriend will kill her.
I want to know if this girl has any interest in me or if she just sees me as only a friend and if i have a chance with her. The only reason i want to pursue it is that i truly meant the things i told her and i see a great life we could have together. How do i take things from here?
The only thing that would be in your future with her if you actually started dating her would be jealousy and distrust. She's already proving that even when she's in a committed relationship with someone, she has no care about honoring it and quite happily flirts and chases other men. There is no reason she would be any different if you were her boyfriend. You know with first hand evidence that she is not a loyal person, that she is behind dishonest with him and isn't worthy of trust by him. Do you really want to then put yourself into his position?
I would recognize the things about her that DO attract you to her, and then look for those same traits in another woman who is also a honest woman.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com