the only way we can make things work again is if we both change some things
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My ex broke up with me almost a year ago, but we still talk all the time, and he had another girlfriend but was still always calling me. we deeply care for eachother, but the only way we can make things work again is if we both change some things. this requires effort from both sides, and i want to know how to make him finally put that effort in. we have a really deep love for eachother, but we've always been too stubborn to take things seriously, and then we just end up hurting eachother! please, please help me. i really want him in my life.
You can't -make- someone put in effort. It has to be an internal push that propels him to do the right thing. If he's bullied into it, then he will slide back into bad behavior because that's what he really wants. You can't make a frog into a prince with one kiss. You say you're both stubborn. So what makes you think that you can outstubborn him and force him to be someone he's not?
Some times you just have to face facts and accept that the love of your life is not who you want them to be, and you have to let it go and find someone who doesn't have to be forced into doing right by you.
I wish you the best!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com