I am attracted to another man. I can't seem to help myself.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my husband going on 8 years. Lately he acts as if he doesn't want to be with me AT ALL. I am attracted to another man (who is a friend and who is also married). I can't seem to help myself. Tell me what I should do. HOW do I stop?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's good you're acknowledging all this before you take it further. You really don't want an affair, you want your husband to be the love of your life again. So refocus on him and strengthen the relationship by getting back to its roots. Find things to do with him that are romantic and thoughtful. Show him how much he means to you by doing little touches like sending him email telling him how you love him. Open up the communication lines by saying, "I feel like you're distracted lately... what's on your mind?"

You two got together for a reason. Find those reasons again and renew the relationship. Go on dates again, rekindle the passion you once had.

All in all, you're attracted to the new guy because of your fear of losing your husband (emotionally, if not physically). It's easier on our hearts if we have someone new in the wings just in case the first guy dumps us.

If all else fails, try the counselling route. If he's not willing to go with you (which says something itself) go on your own so you can get a handle on these emotions you are feeling.

I wish you the best!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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