He's In with a Bad Crowd

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am 13 and my boyfriend is 15 ... He told me that he's going to his aunts for two weeks but instead he went across the street to party with people that he know's will get him in trouble.

I love him and don't wanna lose him ... what do I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's easy to be drawn in by the 'bad crowd' - they seem exciting, dangerous, make you feel more grown up to be doing those sorts of things. But in the end, being grown up is about doing what is right for you no matter what anyone else says. Otherwise you're being a child, doing what others tell you to do. Sure, the people are your 'peers' and not your 'parents', but it's all the same in the end. It's not YOUR decision, you're just going along with the crowd. Being with the partiers when you're 15 seems cool, but if you end up dead, or end up at 25 with no life, no money and no friends, you really regret your "choice" of being a sheep and following the herd.

So it sounds like he's choosing a life of deception and dishonesty, which isn't a path that leads many to happiness. He's lying to you, so he's not treating you with much respect. Honesty is one of the cores of any relationship.

If he was doing heroin and you found out, you'd get him into treatment so he didn't end up dying. That's what love is about, caring for someone enough to want to help them out. This sounds like the same thing. I'd talk to someone in his world that is adult and who cares for him, and get him some assistance. If he's lying to you, he doesn't respect you, and that's one of those things that can easily destroy a relationship. If he's actively heading into a bad crowd it'll probably only get worse. So help him to respect himself enough to take better care of himself, and respect you enough to treat you better. But get some help in doing it, it'll be a challenge.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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