How do I Break Up With Him?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been with my boyfriend for nine months. We now live together, but it has only been a month. I don't love him anymore, and I can't live with him. I am not happy. Is there a best way to break up with him. He is not the happiest person in the world and claims that I am the only good thing in his life. I don't want to crush him, but I want it to be firm and to the point. Advice
A relationship is NEVER good if one person claims they are weak and worthless and it's only the other person that makes them worth anything. A healthy relationship is about two strong, self-sufficient people who actively choose to be with each other because they want to be. For you to be the only reason he lives is a huge drain on you, which is unfair.

Sit down with him and explain things calmly. You are not happy. He can't be happy if you, unhappy, are with him. He deserves to have someone that truly loves him, and you deserve to have someone that truly loves you. Somewhere out there in the world, both of those people exist. As much as a person thinks another person is THE ONLY person in the world, in reality, there are billions of people in the world. And for each of us, there are many quite compatible matches.

If he's really low, ask him to see a therapist. Help him get the appointment. Having self esteem is one of those key traits to surviving life, and it's not something that another person can give you. Even a partner. It's something you have to feel from inside.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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