Me and my boyfriend broke up after 9 months. Just out of the blue.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
God I dont know where to start. Me and my boyfriend broke up after 9 months. Just out of the blue. He found out I checked his voicemail and there's all these trust issues. Its been a month. He keeps telling me different stuff everyday. One day he hates me and wants me to leave him alone and then the next day he loves me and misses me. he says he wants to explore what is out there.I just recently found out he has been hanging out with another girl. The worst part is, we almost got back together over the weekend but then I found another girl at his house. What does he want? This man took everything I had a deystroyed my life. I want to let go and move on but he wont let me. He keeps saying eventully we will be together again. He just needs time to think and get his life in order. Is he a liar? Or is he just confused? Oh we work togther as well which makes it 10x worse. He kept me around for a month, why didnt he cut me out of his life completly? im so confused and hurt. I just need to know what to do. Advice
He sounds like a tennis ball, bouncing back and forth between wanting you and not wanting you. I'm sure it's very frustrating for you. I don't think he knows what he wants, I think he wants the best of both worlds, to have his cake and eat it too. But he knows that doesn't work in real life. He needs to figure out what he really does want and need. That will take time.

I suggest you use this time to better yourself. Things don't really happen out of the blue, we're blind to the problems until they come to a head and then we are all shocked when it happens. But if you look back, you can probably see where the communication started failing, and hopefully you'll be able to pinpoint where it broke so that you can ensure it never happens again. Keeping open communication with him, being honest with him, those things are vital to any relationship and it sounds like yours needed some help.

I wish you luck!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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