Moving from friends to kissing
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 weeks but have been friends for 4 years. We're going out on our first date in a few days, and I'm really nervous cause I want him to kiss me but I know he wont and I think it's because he might still look at me as a friend. The other day in school I got brave and decided to kiss him on the cheek (we've been comfortable with hugging and hand holding) but he didn't kiss me back. I though maybe I surprised him and did it again later in the day, but he never kissed me back. I so the next day I tried his neck. Still, I got nothing in return. Being a little hurt, I decided to back off.
At the movies we're going to be alone and I'm going to want to kiss him and be close. We've never talked about it, and I'm really afraid to because we don't do well with talking about things that are bothering us. What should I do?
He may be really scared to ruin the friendship by being too forward in the kissing - he may like what you're doing but not want to push things too much in return. And he may wonder why you backed off. I would keep up with the gentle kisses and make it *easy* for him to try it. When you hug, turn your cheek to him. Don't make him work for it :)
The other thing is that you don't do well with talking about things. You really should have that friendship base built up before you go into kissing, because kissing is a powerful emotional thing and if you can't talk about emotions but then dive into emotional situations, you're sort of asking for trouble. So you really need to practice your talking skills now, because you could need them soon. Think of this as a very valuable relationship-saving-skill that you really need NOW. Yes, it's not easy. But relationships are about growing up and doing things that take responsibility. If you're responsible enough to date, you're responsible enough to TALK to the person you're dating about how you feel. Otherwise the relationship has a serious flaw in it right from the start that is hard to overcome.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com