She's Scared of Dating Me

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i write this letter with great sorrow and sadness, however, i also write it knowing that there might still be hope left. 5 months ago, i asked this girl out, i REALLY liked her, i've NEVER felt that way about anyone and feel as if it is more than a mere attraction, as if its closer to love. anyway, i finally gathered enough courage to ask her out, and this was her answer. I mentioned to her that i really liked her, and asked her out then. she then said, i like you too, but im not going to be dating for a few more years. something tells me that i scared her off, you see, after her answer, i felt that there was no other girl like her which i knew. since then she has shyed away from any contact wiht me, even internet chats, i want to know, how would i restart a relationship with her, become friends again, and then ask her out, since i know that she is ready to date because one of her friends told me so. please send advice Advice
First, it sounds like pressing her into dating is a bad idea. The girl got nervous when you asked her about that. So just focus on the friendship. You want to have her be comfortable with you around, talking with you, spending time with you. That is THE most important thing to have when you even think about then asking her out. So work on being friends! Make sure she doesn't equate you with pressure. You should NEVER feel pressured with a boyfriend-girlfriend.

So be nice to her, talk to her, listen to her, be her friend. If you don't pressure her, the rest will work out. But if you pressure her or make her think that you're only after her for dating purposes, then she's likely to keep feeling resistant.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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