we broke up 6 months ago because im sufferin from depression.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Why cant i stop askin questions?Me an my ex have recently started meetin up again because we want to try again.we broke up 6 months ago because im sufferin from depression.I never told her that was the reason until recently.i broke up with her for the wrong reasons.the problem is that everytime i see her or even text her i bombard her with questions.for instance she says she is going out on saturday night with her friends.I start to go all hot an panicky inside start thinkin she will meet someone or that.so i start askin questions .i know deep down the questions are so stupid because she would not hurt a fly an is very trustworthy.i just cant stop thinkin about askin them to help me stop thinkin bad things.feel fine after askin them but it aint fair that i keep askin.i should not have to ask.She even says that all i do is ask her questions and im drivin her nuts.sometimes i feel if i dont ask then i will feel horrible and keep thinkin the worste.Problem is i want to be happy with her and know she really wants to get back and be happy with me.is there anything i can do to stop thinkin the worst i hate feelin like this.sometimes i get angry if she wont answer my questions.but i really quick to apologise if i do snap.so frustrating that im like this.i ave changed stuff in my diet and feel better for doing it but need to stop this sillyness or we wont have a chance.i aint to keen on counselin so is there any things i can do to help myself?i have a great group of friends and so does she and i like that cause we need our friends to be there for both of us.any things i struggle to concentrate on things because of this negative thinkin.please help.thanks
I know you don't like the idea of counseling, but it's very very important for you to get under a therapy program. You've said that you're depressed, I hope you're taking medication for it, and I know that therapy combined with medication is the best way to get out of depression. It may take 6 months, but it is vital that you get someone that can help you with this sort of thinking. It may very well be that you need an additional anti-anxiety drug that will stop the "rushing thoughts" that you are experiencing.
You can augment this therapy by reading self-help books that will help you over the hill. But you can't do it alone quick enough to save this relationship. So you have a choice in front of you. Do you want your girlfriend back? Or do you want to lose her and eventually (we hope) get out of this depression?
I wish you luck.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com