I hate to throw away a friendship like this
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
Last year,I reconnected with a guy that I grew up with.He lived across the street from me when we were kids.He lives in another state,is divorced with a teenage son(his son recently moved with his mother).I love my friend very much because he is a sweet intelligent man with a good sense of humor.He also has his share of problems.He came from a dysfunctional family,has problems with alcohol and depression and is confined to a wheelchair.About three times a year,he come down to visit with his family.Last week,I found out that he was in town,but,he never called me or e-mailed me to let me know that he was in town.I figured that if he wanted to see me,he would have made some sort of contact and made arrangements to get together.I am very hurt by his actions.I have e-mailed him a couple times to get some answers on his behavior,but,I haven't heard a peep from him.A couple of months ago,he broke up with his girlfriend.I know that he has been hurt by women in the past,but,I never have hurt him.We have never dated,but,always been good friends.I don't understand his actions.The last time I talked to him was three weeks ago.He was very happy to hear from me and was glad things were so good in my life.I hate to throw away a friendship like this,but,I feel like I'm being pushed away and punished for something I didn't do.I do LOVE my friend alot and I want to help him get through whatever problems he has. Thank you
It sounds like he has a lot to work through, and there's only so much you can do. You've made all the overtures to being friendly and understanding, and I'm sure he does appreciate it. But something is holding him back and keeping him from making a deeper connection to you. It's nothing you've done, he has a lot on his plate already and he needs to get to some counselling to get through his issues. They're not your issues, though, so all the supporting you're doing is wonderful and helpful. Just keep on trying to be nice to him and in the long run he'll appreciate it greatly and hopefully will tell you so.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com