im 23 yrs old & he is 9 yrs older than me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
im in a big trouble. i hav a relation with a men frm 4 yrs. im 23 yrs old & he is 9 yrs older than me. i felt many different things between us. i feel my & his mentality r so different. he took me physically. always he says he loves me. but i feel that for his touch i became attracted & crazy to him day by day. but always i felt guiltyness after sex coz we didnt marry yet. he knows it very well. but when we meet in a room it bcome uncontrolable. i think im taking my decision emotionally.but i want to take my decision practically. coz we hav different mentality. his many things i don like. many words he says which i really don like. his attitude is so different. what i always wanted about my husband is he will b nice attitude, understandable,caring.

but my boyfriend seems not like that. he is also looks so senior than me. i think we doesnt look nice as a couple.he looks like my uncle.i always told him u look nice in this cloths & always try to b fit.but he don care of my these words. after some yrs it will mor difficult to adjust for me for our age differenc. can u tell me that age is really a matter for marriage for understanding each others everything, knowing, leading life 2gether & many thing.i also felt that he has less care for me. once upon a time he used to b crazy for me but it has bcame less now. what i think he should take seriously whatever i say as im his girlfriend. but that honour i don feel into him.he has no other girl in his life. he is honest in this.. i also don hav attraction for any other guy.he is so much professional. so i feel so lonely for his busyness. so i feel after marriage it will also a big problem. when we meet many times i feel that he dont undrstand my inner feelings. he don discuss so many things with me.i always want to discuss everything but he don do.i always wanted he will start about this or that topic but i hav to start.he is earing less money but i need mor coz for my education expenses & living my life. my father is so rich so i donno illb able to adjust wit him or not.i spend to much money for shoppings ect. but he willnt b able to effort it.

so fr these all things im so confused.i always wanted to lov him by opening my heart without thinking money or look like uncle etc but for his these things i now really feeling he willnt ever change how i wan him.what i deserve he don my feeling bcam less for him & so confusing.
im very confused in my life to choose my life partner.pls help me out.pls help me out to take a a decision pactically.whenever we broke our relation it became start. so what will i will i do. if he is right man for me then how will i make him undrstanding or how will i sdjust all?i feel i was so blind in all things now i feel this big decision should not b taken blindly or emotionally.coz life goes practically not emotionally.pls help me...
very sorry for a big mail. Advice
It sounds to me like you know what you want out of a husband. And it also sounds like the guy you're dating doesn't match up with what you want in a husband. So you have a few choices. You can continue to date this guy and give up on what you wanted, or you can leave this guy and find someone better suited for you.

I can say from personal experience that age differences don't go away. I was married to a man who was 11 years older than I was, and it just kept getting worse the older we got. So we finally had to split, and now I've found someone my own age and it makes all the difference in the world.

I recommend that you find someone new and break off with this one. You are finding too many reasons not to stay with him but you aren't mentioning any reasons why you would want to be with him.

I wish you luck!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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