A Guy who Moves In and then Changes His Mind
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've dated this guy for 3 months. First he asks me to move in, then he says that he's not sure we should stay together. What's up with him?
Everybody gets confused during the first few months of a relationship. It's the hot, heavy, hormones-racing time when the whole thing seems wonderful and fresh. It takes a few months at least for those feelings to settle down into something more reasonable, when you can actually see if this person you're with is good for you.
It might be that he was caught up in the emotions and wanted you with him always, but as time went on he wants to take things more slowly. The more you learn and find out about someone, the more you see both the good and the bad, and you get to know better if someone is really meant for you or not. Think of it in this way - it's better to know after 3 months that it really wasn't meant to be. Compare that to getting married in a rush and then being stuck with someone that you're really going to be miserable with.
It might also be that he's afraid of the commitment, and that he's backing away in order not to get in too close. Give him time, either way, and be there as a friend. If you two really are good together, he'll see that, and you'll pull closer together naturally. If you don't quite mesh properly, you'll both realize that too, and you can stay friends while you find someone else better matched to you romantically.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com