Why am I so jealous?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Why am I so jealous? I never thought I was a very jealous person until recently. My husband of two years has recently become "best" friends with one of his female co-workers. It didn't really bother me at first, but then it started to make me feel uncomfortable. After about 6 months in his new job, he was forced to share an office with her. I didn't think much about it. That's when they started having a "close" relationship. She transferred departments a few months later and ever since then she has been calling him, taking her break to go and see him, and other little things that kind of get to me. I know I shouldn't worry about this because my husband is a strong Christian man and would never do anything to hurt me. But it just feels weird to me. She even told him to tell me not to feel weird. But it's not just the closeness that bothers me. It's the fact that whenever I tell my husband my feelings about the situation, he takes up for her. I feel like the two of them are against me. Should I have a right to feel this way? I'm really confused. I don't want my husband to lose his friendship with her, but I wish he would respect my feelings. She and I were friends, but since I've been having these feelings I don't know if I want to be her friend anymore. Any advice?

RomanceClass.com Advice
I think that when your husband takes her side, I think it's more to try to calm you down than to put the two of them against you. It is an odd situation, but I would have faith in your husband that he'll do the right thing. And it's very good that you're raising these issues and saying how you feel uncomfortable with it. May not change anything, but it means your husband will be keeping it in mind when he talks with his friend.

I suggest that you be patient with this and wait for it to blow over, which it will. You might consider going to counselling once or twice to have a neutral third party give you and your husband advice on how to cope with this... his hearing it from someone else may shake him into dropping the friendship down a few degrees.

Good luck!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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