i want to see her because she is ill and may die soon.

Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
my lover and i have been together for over 26 years. she left our house 6 months ago.she said she picked her family over me.we shared her, i do not know why this became an either or situation. we e-mail almost daily.i want to see her because she is ill and may die soon.she still crys on the phone when she speaks of us to me.her mother died 4 months before she left.i am not getting alot of information from her.do i just remain nice, cry everyday and let her decide IF she'll see me?

RomanceClass.com Advice
What a painful situation!

It sounds to me like she is backing away from everyone in order to hide from all the grief that she is experiencing. It is a heavy load for her to cope with the death of her mother and her illness. I'm sorry that she couldn't share it with you so she could have a lighter burden, but people do react very differently to stress.

I think that you should continue to have contact with her and be there to support her. Try not to pressure her about your relationship, if it's possible. The fact that you are in contact with her so much will allow her the ability to come back into a relationship with you fairly easily, but it'll have to be on her own timescale, when she is not hurting so much over the other aspects of her life.

I wish you luck.

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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