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At this point in my life I'd like to live as if only love mattered. --Tracy Chapman

we had broken up 3 times.But we always got back together.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Me and my ex boyfriend started going out in October.And we were together till the beginning of May.But in that time we had broken up 3 times.But we always got back together.And I still have no idea why I kept going back to him.I really loved him,and still do.But then when we broke up for the last time,I told myself I can't go back out with him,we've tried so many times.But I miss him,I miss the great times we've had.He was my first kiss,my first real date,we went through a lot together.A lot of great memories with him.But then I relized last night that it wasn't really him I missed.It was the feeling of having someone to love and being loved and all the memories we had.But its really weird that I won't talk to him for a couple days and I start to think I'm over him, I'm done then either someone will mention him or I'll see him or he'll call me and I start to like him again and I start to miss him and think about him nonstop.He's like a drug,I'm like addicted I can't stop loving him.Please help me stop!!!What can I do?Or just live with it?Cuz deep down in me I still believe me and him are meant to be and will be together again someday.But I just don't know.But right now I just need to stop loving him!PLEASE HELP ME!

RomanceClass.com Advice
The two of you have had a rollercoaster of a relationship, that's for sure! After all this time, you have bonded deeply with him so any try at rooting him out of your system will be long and painful. That doesn't mean the solution is to go out with him, he's caused you as much pain as happiness. You need to take a long hard look at the pros and cons of going out with this guy. Get a friend to help you with this list (not that best friend that went out with him the week you broke up with him!) and figure out if it really makes sense to try yet again. Make up a new list of what you want in a boyfriend, and see if he has all those qualities. Be honest! Don't cheat it by making the list all about him! You are at a great point in life where you can meet dozens of eligible people to date and enjoy life and enjoy going out with so that you have a great time instead of the insecurity and random unhappiness that this guy has given you.

I highly recommend putting him on the shelf with your old teddybear --- something once crazy-loved but now you've outgrown him.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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