she thinks I Iook at other women all the time.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been seeing my girlfriend for nearly three years now and in all that time one thing is really coming between us - she thinks I Iook at other women all the time.

I find I can't walk down the street, watch commercials on TV, go to parties or ANTHING with complete confidence anymore. Whenever we go to a restaurant I have to make sure I know where all the attractive women are siting so I DON'T happen to look in their direction. It's got to the point that when I see attractive women I feel this wave of shame washing over me - not because im looking, but because I just SAW them.

Whenever she sees that I've seen an attractive woman (on TV or in person) she starts getting upset (even to the point of crying).

I love my GF. We have a year old baby together and one day I hope to get married - but I feel I can't unitl this problem is resolved as I can't be with someone forever who makes me feel like this. If anything, it's making me consider leaving the relationship.

I know she's insecure and I make sure I buy her flowers regularly, complement her on her looks, tell her how sexy I think she is (which is true) and then, after all that she says things like 'How can I believe you think I'm good looking when I see you looking at other women'. She throws tantrums and says I'm treating her unfairly.

Sure I can appreciate a good looking woman, but I don't go out of my way to look at women - especially not in her company.

I really don't know what to do about this. It's slowly driving me away from her… Advice
I understand your problem and I hope that the two of you can solve this. Sit her down sometime to talk openly about it. Insecurity and jealousy go hand in hand, and if you cure one, you'll fix the other as well.

We have a whole area dealing with jealousy, which is what your girlfriend is going through. Have her stop by here:

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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