He's acting all strange. Is it my fault? What can I do?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hello, I am really sad and confused right now. I was with this guy Scott for about 2 months, and at first I was kind of "if'y" about him because he was a year younger than me. But soon enough I came to find out that i really liked him, So when he asked me out the second time, I said Yes. And we were together for 2 months. Im not the type to catch feelings very easily, But it was something about him that made me catch the feelings I had, everything was perfect. We had so much fun all the time. But just about 3 days ago, I was at his house, and noticed a few strange things. Like a few days before he had to get off the phone with me because he was having a serious conversation with his father. Then when i was over there i found out that Scott wasnt aloud to have his bedroom door locked anymore, and Scott is Straight edge, He doesnt drink much, or do any drugs. Well that day i was over there, He had been kissing on me, and we were playing around, laughing, and kissing, Just everything was normal. Well when I was getting ready to leave, His sister asked him "Scott why were you crying earlier" and Scott replied with a simple " I wasnt crying i was tired ". I didnt think anything of it. But when I got home I called him (like i usually do) and talked for a little while, then he was tired so he got off the phone to go to sleep. Well When I was trying to sleep, Scott kept calling my cell phone and hanging up before i even got to answer it. So I finally called back, and he said that he needed to talk to me. That he couldnt sleep, and I knew then he was breaking up with me. He told me that he didnt want to do it, and he still has feelings for me, but he just cant do it anymore. He said there were things going on in his h ouse particularly with his father, that his older, very close, sister didnt even know about. He said that his life is a wreck right now and he needed time to straighten things out. He told me that his priorities were all "screwed up" and that he couldnt deal with his families problems and being in a relationship at the same time. He kept apologizing, and he sounded like he had been previously crying before he called me. I dont know what to think, Do you think this is just a way out of a relationship for him? He told me he still wanted to be friends, and he didnt want me to hate his guts, But I dont know if I can be friends with him now, He broke my heart, I had no idea this was coming. What should I do?? Do you think this was just a bunch of BS to break up with me?? Also another thing, He wouldnt even tell his BEST friend why he broke up with me, and he wouldnt tell me the problems with his family, he said they were "too personal". I dont know what to do. I want him back so bad, These past few days all ive wanted to do is sleep. So I dont have to think about it. Please help me, My heart is dieing inside, and this hurts so bad.
Don't take it personally at all. It sounds like this kid has some serious problems at home that he needs to work on and while he does, he doesn't want to handle another relationship on top of it all. It's not your fault and there's nothing you can do about it to fix it. It sounds like it's beyond your friend's ability to solve it as well, he needs to get into some counselling to get him out of the mess his family is in.
In the meantime, you can be a strong friend for him. Be there to listen to him. Be there to hang out in silence if that's what he needs. He doesn't need some clingy, whiney girl bugging him while he has all this other stuff going on. Don't do that to him.
Take the high road here and forgive him for hurting you, since that's the last thing he would want to do to you, he can't help that his family is in turmoil.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com