I keep hanging on to the memories of the affair

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I'm a 47 year old woman who has been married for 25 years. I recently had an affair because I felt my husband and I were just roomates. I cringed when he touched me and felt nothing more than friendship for him.
When my husband found out about the affair, he went to see the guy and broke it up.
The man I was with will not talk to me, take my phone calls or emails. I miss him terribly and badly want to see him again. Everyone tells me to forget it, but I can't. I think my husband and I might still have a chance but probably not as long as I keep hanging on to the memories of the affair. How do I let go?

RomanceClass.com Advice
You need to get the two of you into counselling. You're either married, forever and ever, or you need to get a divorce. But this half-life of yours is killing both you and your husband. You need to focus on your relationship and figure out whether you want to keep it or not, and if so, then by focussing on the relationship, you'll have less time to pine after your lover. That needs to end if you're going to move on, no matter what route you choose to take.

I know it's hard. But you'll be a better person when all is said and done.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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