A female classmate hates my lesbian love for her
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My classmate hates me. I dont know if its true but, i dont know what did i do to her, why she hates me. I want to apologize to her but she's not talking to me. I don't know why. Would you give me advice? She now knows that I'm in love with her, but I'm a lesbian. I need your advice right now. thanx for your advice.
You probably know, being a lesbian, how many people out there actively don't understand and disagree with your lifestyle. I'm not saying it's right, but it's one of those things you will have to learn to deal with and face. It's like being black or Irish or Chinese or any other minority over the ages. They're persecuted, not for any good reason, and they just have to strive on and overcome.
Undoubtedly this girl is confused about everything, and your affection threatens her world. To her it's "not normal" and scary. Really, there's too little love in the world as it is and she should feel good that someone thinks she's worthy of loving, whoever that person is. And if she doesn't return that love, well that's true in the vast majority of loves anyway, so it doesn't really matter if you're male or female.
Tolerance is something that people have to learn slowly, you can't force them to change. What you can do is help her see that this isn't something to feel threatened by. If she's not attracted to girls, then really, to her you're in the same category as say a guy she wasn't attracted to. Not something scary, just something that isn't going to work for her.
I would work on having her see you as a good, kind *person* so that she stops seeing you as a *lesbian*. So be friendly but not pushy. Just say "hi" as you pass and keep going. Be helpful, let her see that you're a girl just like any other girl, that you can be a good person to know. Build up that comfort zone with you as a *person* before you start to talk about anything more serious.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com