I accuse him of looking and being turned on by other girls
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am very jealous of my fiance. We have been together for over 6 years now. We have a 9 year age gap, hes older. Im just always worried that he is attracted to other woman and I accuse him of looking and being turned on by other girls. He actually doesnt watch tv anymore because of me. I feel awful for doing this to him. I ask him to compliment me and help make me feel like he is attracted to me but he doesnt and never did in our whole relationship. I have heard him say things about other woman though and that bugs me. What can I do? PLease help me Im desperate
We have a whole area about jealousy:
Jealousy stems from insecurity, and it sounds like you know this already since you were asking your fiance to compliment you. It also sounds like he can't do it because for him it would be objectifying you and he loves you too much to do it. Twisted, but that is how it works sometimes. This is how he can comment on women walking by -- to him they're just bodies. But you are so much more to him. He's with you for the long haul. He's with you body and soul. You have so much more to offer him than any random woman. So don't worry when he looks at someone else, he's just looking and he's not about to leave you for her. Once you can gain the confidence that he's all yours, then it will bother you less when he admires someone else. He can admire a Van Gogh painting of flowers, can't he? So he can admire a woman in the same way.
Try not to worry so much about it. He's clearly going to stay with you, so don't stress over something that's not there.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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