15 yrs old, after 5 months, the passion is fading
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm a 15 year old male. I'm having a little trouble with my relationship. I've been going out wth my g/f for about 5 months now and i feel like my relationship is going down hill. I just don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything wih my g/f. It feels like there something missing, but i don't know what it is. Can you please help me out?
It's very normal for the rush of new love to fade after a few months. This happens to everyone on the planet. You would wear yourself out if you always stayed that interested and excited! So instead your body reverts back to a normal state. That's why there are so many websites like this one here - because after those first few months, a relationship takes work to maintain. It doesn't just automatically come with solid fun times and excitement.
So now you have to realize that if you want to stay with this girl, you can't just let things slide and hope they work out well. You need to actively work on the relationship, just like she does. You need to remind each other that you care for each other, make sure you spend time together, make sure you talk a lot and share your lives.
It sounds like you haven't been doing that if you've suddenly gotten to the point that you don't want to be with her but you haven't even talked to her about it yet. The whole time that you felt things fading, you should have been talking to her, keeping the contact, keeping the relationship healthy. It sounds like you just sort of ignored it and let it slide, and now your feelings have already faded.
You have two real choices. One is that you can realize that some mistakes were made in the relationship but that it can still be saved. You can start talking to her now, and both of you together can work on keeping the relationship fun, keeping your caring for each other strong, and reminding each other why you started dating in the first place. Long term love is really MUCH more satisfying than just going from relationship to relationship constantly, but again, it requires effort. It doesn't just happen.
Your other option is to sit down with her, admit that things just slid and that you two have drifted apart. That you really don't have the energy to try to rebuild it and that you should break up. If you choose this second option, remember that the exact same thing will happen in your next relationship unless you learn how to handle it better the next time around. So take this relationship collapse as a warning, and work more actively in your next relationship to keep talking about how you feel, keep taking action so the romance level stays up, and keep staying actively involved in each others lives.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com