He Kinda Cheated Once
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been going out with a guy for three years. This summer we broke up one night and he kinda cheated on me..kinda bc he stopped. He told me the truth about everything except for who it was, which i just learned recently was a girl he worked with.
Now he is 100% commited to me and writes me everyday, calls me whenever he goes anywhere and doesn't even go to the bars so I don't worry. My question is..can guys really change? I think he learned from his mistake but am I stupid for staying with him?
People do stupid things when they're angry and upset, and if you'd been together for 3 years, broke up and he went out, he might have done it out of anger at you or to prove he was still of value to *someone*. It's not like you were both happily together and then he lied about being out with his pals and then hooked up with an old girlfriend. Also, he told you the truth which is a REALLY good sign, that he was honest about it and didn't want to hide things from you.
I'd say people are entitled to mistakes, and on the scale of cheating, he *almost* cheated after you broke up. And then he told you the truth about it. Those all count heavily in his favor. Many relationships heal fully after affairs and are stronger than before. You have to make the commitment to trust him again, and then you have to stick with it. If you keep harassing him or doubting him, it'll destroy your relationship. But if he really has committed to you, and you have gotten through the pain, it might be time to move on and forward with your relationship.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com