She is Making Excuses
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I were together for 2 years until about 2 months ago we broke up. Reason being that she said that I didn't do anything about a situation that involved my family and her, and also that we hardly "went out", like eat out and/or watch movies. But I did ask her many times in the past if she wanted to go eat dinner at a restaurant and go see a "flick".But she said she was too tired and we should save money.
But now, she recently got two jobs and says that she doesn't have time for a relationship. we talk on the phone everyday,call each other "babe",kiss and hug each other and hang out on occasion. she says still loves and misses me, but wants to focus on "herself" and pay off her bills. she wants to work things out and she tells her friends that also. She tells me that she still wants to marry me. I told her how I feel about getting back with her and even talked with my family. I write her poems and letters to her also. She hangs out with her guy friends and went on a date with one of them. Honestly , i dont know what to do and what to believe, i love her and miss her but at times i dont know what she really wants because she tells me one thing,but does another. She also told me that she tells all of the guys that she hangs out with that she doesn't have time for a relationship and "it's all about me" and "if you guys can't handle that ,then don't hang out with me".
Well, my question is, what should I do?..Should I wait and be friends with her untill she clears up her mind then ask her if she wants to get back together? Should I have an honest and serious talk with her about everything and how she really feels and see if she wants to be with me after all this.?I really miss her and this is driving me crazy.
This girl has the ability to use the phone, if she wanted to go out SHE could have called YOU and suggested it. The fact that you were actively trying to go out and she was turning you down means she is the issue here. And for her to turn around and blame you for her own actions is a really bad sign.
Paying bills is fine, but if she has time to spend on other people, then she has time to spend on you. She is just making excuses and using you. I highly suggest you sit down, present her with the facts and make her face reality. If she thinks she can keep getting away with lying, she is going to make that a permanent part of her personality.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com