Hugging your Boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I wish i could just go up to my boyfriend and hug him but im to scared i just wish i could but i feel so unconfident. Advice
Again, it sounds like you might have jumped into this relationship without being ready for it. Being in a relationship means that you're able to talk to the person, that you are great friends, that you are honest. If you aren't able to even talk about hugging them, that's a pretty basic level of talking that isn't going on.

Being in a relationship takes work, it takes effort, and it takes revealing yourself to this person in ways that you don't with anyone else. If you're scared to talk to him, that's a pretty serious issue. You should NEVER be so scared to talk to your partner that you don't. Out of all the things life can throw at you, hugging is probably the smallest. If you can't talk about this, how can you talk about any other more important thing that comes along?

You are supposed to be able to trust your partner fully, to talk about anything. You accepted this guy as a boyfriend and with that comes responsibilities - not to hold back information from him that could harm the relationship. And since there's something about the relationship that bothers you, and you're deliberately hiding it from him by not telling, you could actually cause the destruction of the relationship if this keeps up. So if you care about the relationship, you *owe* it to him to talk to him, so that there aren't hidden problems. Doesn't he deserve that?

Sit down with him, somewhere quiet, look into his eyes, and tell him you would like a hug! It's only four words, and it's about being honest. It's not even about the hug. It's about you being a *partner* in this relationship and being honest. You really have to start talking and communicating now, if you want this relationship to work. If you keep up this practice of hiding issues because it's scary to address them, it is going to cause serious trouble for you as you go forwared.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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