I Want to Talk - I am Shy
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Basically this is my problem.......
About 4 years ago i met a girl and we werent exactly friends. more like people that knew each other but never talked to each other. i never really thought anything of her.
about 2 years ago on a band trip the whole band was in a bus and the girl was sitting in front of my seat (shes in band with me). we talked a little (it was a long bus ride....) and then for some reason that night i thought about the talk and said to myself "i think i like her."
about 1 year and 6 months ago i started talking to her a lot more. i said hi when we passed each other at school. we emailed each other once in a while. we talked to each other on the internet A LOT using a messenger service. i guess in a way we became really good friends.
about a year ago we started seeing each other less. we didnt talk on the internet much anymore. within the past year i only emailed her 3 times. we barely talk at school. so i guess our friendship was dying. but at school when we see each other she may say 'hi' to me once in a great while or smile when she sees me (of course i'd return the 'hi' or smile. but i'd never say hi or smile first, she'd be the one that says it first.... i guess cause im scared/nervous...?). other than that we dont really talk. the thing is though, i still like her. i guess my question is how do i approach her or talk to her? since we sorta stopped talking i get really nervous when i talk to her or even get near her.
next school year i HAVE to choose a forgien language as a elective mostly because of college so i cant choose band anymore so i would see her even LESS. so basically i want to try and talk or whatever as much as i can this year so hopefully our friendship will renew and hold out next year and the following years. even though i like her i just want to be friends because i guess you could say i rather take it slowly instead of jump into it. thanks for your help
You already have her email and messenger service - so start using it! Just send her random little notes, say hi, tell her you won't be in band, whatever. Casual stuff. Start slowly and then start building it up. Yes you're shy. Every human being is shy! But part of being mature and getting a relationship is doing stuff even THOUGH you are shy. You can't just hide in a corner all your life, you have to take risks to get the rewards. It's time to step up to the plate.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com