She Lied - and Had a Kid

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
my girlfriend of 4 years and I just had a baby 8 months ago. We have had some problems in the last year and while we do live together we haven't had sex in over a year. Recently she has started going out with her sister to bars all the time something she never used to do. Her sister has a boyfriend but is now cheating on him. Well the other night my girl came home at 5:30 am from the bar with her sister. The next morning she woke up early after only a couple hours sleep and took off to her sisters house without a word. When she came back I noticed she had a limp, one that looked like she just had sex or was sore from something. She said it was because she was hungover. When I asked her what happened that she got home so late she said she was at a bar and her ex boyfriend was there. She said he didn't talk to her much and she went to her sisters house after the bar closed to sober up before driving home. the next night we were out together and some people came up to me and said my girlfriend was all over her ex last night and even left with him. I asked her and she said she wasn't all over him but she did leave with him. He gave her a ride to somebody's house having a party but nothing happened between them she just didn't tell me because she thought I would get mad. She then got mad at me for listening to the people who said she was all over her ex and holding his hand on the way to the car. Who should I believe because this is a tough situation since we have a baby now??? Advice
If you guys didn't have sex for a year and she had a baby, then pretty obviously you are not the father. The question of course is whether you want to raise the baby anyway, but the mom has the duty to say who the real father is - if only for health reasons!! A lot of what a baby gets genetically can have serious effects on his health. Whether the baby gets cancer and other illnesses is directly related to its genetics in many case. I would sit down with the mom, explain this to her and say you need at least to get the medical history of the father if nothing else. If she insists on lying even at the risk of her child's health, it would be time to get a DNA test. It would be really sad if the mom chose lying to protect herself over the health of her child.

-- from Lisa
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