He Broke Up - He Still Torments Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend of about 4 months recently decided to call it quits. I was never quite sure WHY he broke up with me, and he could never find a solid way to tell me. Ever since, things have kind of been a rollercoaster. Going up briefly, then spinning down into an eternal black hole. Although it's been a while since we've talked, a huge part of me still thinks and cares about him, however, he doesent seem to feel the same way, or atleast he doesent show it. Lately we've been passing emails and i know he still thinks about me when he mentions "how happy i am" with other guys. He seems to hold a grudge. We've both changed since the first time we've meet eachother, and unfortunaly, we never got to be "friends" before we started our relationship. How can i get him to stop hiding his feelings and open up and stop being so unemotional. How do get him to accept me as just a friend? or TRY?
It really sounds like this guy just wasn't mature enough to date. He couldn't tell you what was wrong or try to deal with it - instead he ran away. But he couldn't even tell you why he ran away. And then he keeps going after you too, to assure himself that he COULD have you back again if he wanted you - but of course he won't actually risk himself by talking to you about the problem or finding a solution.
You can't change people. It's really hard to accept - especially when you love them. But he is the way he is. One of those truisms in life is that you just have to accept that about others. He's cold and unemotional, and he's unable to talk about things that are wrong to fix them. It might be time, as hard as it seems, to move on and accept that his way just isn't a healthy one and that hopefully someday he will mature and get past this.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com