He Cheated - Repeatedly
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Do I Forgive and Forget? My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years. A year and a half into the relationship we began bunting heads a lot and arguing. We would yell and break up but then make up the next day. I found out a few months after we were fighting like this that he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he denied it. Then I seen them together and things got ugly. So I told him I was done.
He apologized continuously for 2 months and told me that he wasn't seeing the other girl anymore, etc., etc. So, I believed him and said we would try to make it work again. I couldn't forget what he did and I was constantly frustrated and we fought the same way as before (break up, make up). Then, I found out he was still seeing this girl, STILL! So, once again, I told him I was done.
We've been broken up for almost 5 months and I miss him terribly. I know I sound like an idiot. I talk to him occasionally and he still wants another chance. I do still love him and I know he still loves me. How can he love me if he lied? I've asked myself this question a million times, and I've even asked him. His answer is that he screwed up and he made the biggest mistake of his life, his life is horrible without me in it, he doesn't want anyone else but me. He also tells me that even though he knows he was wrong in doind what he did, lieing and everything, he technically didn't cheat because we were "broken up" at the time that him and the other girl were together. Technically, he can be correct, but I can't go by technicallities. He hurt me and lied to me.
But the question is, since I miss him and I still love him, do I try to give it another chance?? I've been seeing other people for a couple of months, so the problem isn't that I can't move on. We shared something so special, so great. Can I believe that we'll get that back if I do give him another chance? I'm so confused! I need an outsider who is unbiased to give me some advice. If you need more information to help answer me, please ask and I will respond immediately.
If this guy had cheated once, I might have forgiven him if he really showed he was sorry. But he went through that once. He knew how harmful it was. And then he just did it again. This isn't a guy that has learned a lesson. It's a guy who feels awful when he's caught - but who cheats when presented with the opportunity. It's really hard to get over an ex, and your dreams of what it could be. But reality has to settle in here. You want someone in your life you can trust fully and completely. What if you have kids? What if your kids catch their daddy with another woman? You really need someone that is honorable in your life, and this guy just isn't it.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com