How do I move on?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I NEED HELP.......I have known this guy for 5 years now my ex. and through those 5 years they has been nothing but a rollercoater of emotions.we would have a relationship then when things were too serious for him, he would retreat within his own world and blank me all together. i would always call this the sulking stage. by then i would be so angry with him that i would retaliate by doing the same thing.giving him the silent treatment as well. i am not one of those obsessive girls so i would definately give him his space. then after a month he would most definately come back and apologise for his silence and like a fool i would take him back.you could say i had faith in him, faith that if i showed patience and caring that he would change and be a better man. now he has fed me his own share of promises.now only when ive actually forgetting him, got some closure and ready to move on with my life that he comes back in my life.like he has a six senth for sensing when ive gotten over him.and then i fall into that trap again. well the tables turned so very quickly when two months ago we had broken up for the tenth time and this time instead of him doing all the begging i asked for another chance with him. and before this break up we had argued terribly without even solving anything when straight after we finished arguing he asked me to marry him. i said no but didnt give him any reason for saying no. now his been on holiday and come back and i think weve broken up again for we have never really trully told each other its over.we just give each other the silent treatment which is not solving anything. i know some things are just meant to be and i should let him GO after all these yearS. i love HIM so much and i trully want to let go. im not resentful,it just hurts so much and there is no moment in the day that i dont think about him and us. we have spent so much time in this that is so hard to let go. i trully thank him for the lessons his taught me and the love his given him. i wish there was an easier way to get him out of my head and my heart. everytime we break up IT ALWAYS HURT THAT MUCH MORE, i always wait for the chance that we may get back together and it always does happen. i know him so well that it scares me.i know that im negleting myself of true and real love. i feel fate will play its part and everything happens for a reason. i just have to know why we keep going through the same thing over and over again. is there something we are doing wrong.coming back to the marriage question could it be that he cannot gather the fact that i said no to his proposal. we never really talked about that. why do we keep ignoring each other ......HELP
It sounds to me like you know everything you need to about this relationship and you're simply looking for someone to validate what you already know. This guy is not the right one for you but it's hard letting go of something that's been in your life for so long. Just ask any alcoholic whether it's good for them to drink. They know it's not, but getting past the temporary high is tough. You're in the same boat.
Find new interests. Find things to do that don't involve this guy and that don't make you think of him all the time. Find new friends and start dating again. Find ways of breaking the old patterns and your new life will be more special and wonderful as a result.
Good luck and keep us posted!
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com