Guys and their Friends

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
why do guys act so different around their friends? Advice
First, if you're going to generalize, then you should admit that ALL PEOPLE act differently around their friends. Guys complain ALL the time that girls do that - that girls will be sweet and kind in private but then act a bit snotty and uppity when their friends are watching. The girls don't want to seem like they're 'controlled' by their boyfriend so they go out of their way to prove they can do whatever they want to.

In essence anyone who changes their behavior because they have an audience is worried about their friends deserting them if they don't act properly. Which is pretty sad! Your friends should stick by you and should want to see the REAL you, not some sort of fake you act that you put on. That's true whether you're male or female.

Something to consider though is that some people value the 'private moments' in a relationship and don't want to necessarily broadcast them to the world. So for example you guys might kiss a lot in private - but not kiss in public because kissing is something just for you two. I wouldn't think that was a bad thing, to save kissing for when you two are alone. So if your guy isn't wanting to kiss in public, I wouldn't push him just because you want to "be seen kissing".

In any case, sit down with him and talk to him about what is bothering you. If it's that he's treating you BADLY in public, he should definitely stop. If he thinks it's cool to dis his girl in front of other people, he needs a wake-up call. But if it's just that he's not "touchy-feely" in public, you might want to ask yourself why YOU want to do those things with an audience. Do you need to be "seen" in those situations to prove to other girls that you're capable of being touched? If so, then you would be the one wanting an audience to validate you, which isn't necessarily great.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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