He Asked Someone Else Out
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
There's this guy i really like. We've been together 4 a while but not going out. Do you get me. Well, we were just kickin it. He's really nice and i've been waiting a long time for him to ask me out. i gave him alot of hints. he told me he liked me but he just wouldn't ask me to be his g/f. like a month or so later he picked me up from my house and said he needed to talk to me. he asked me if i liked him.I said yes. he then told me he asked out another girl. he said he asked her out because he didn't know what i felt for him.
i started crying and he told me he was going to break up with the girl. so then i calmed down. but he said he needed to think of what to say so he wouldn't break her heart. i told him that's impossible.
well, he's been going out with the girl for a week and 3 days now. what advice can i give him to break up with this girl that he'll probably agree on? And do u think i should still get with him after what happenend?
This really sounds bizarre. HE is the one who asked the other girl out. So it's not like he couldn't have talked to YOU first instead of asking you after he already had this other girl as a safety net.
As far as breaking her heart, if he'd just told her it wasn't going to work after a day, her heart wouldn't be broken! You don't fall in love in one day. But the longer he dates her, the more attached she will get to him, and she WILL be broken hearted when he then tells her "Oh sorry I have liked this OTHER girl this entire time but was just using you". Not only will she be broken hearted but she will be furious with him, for good reason. He's a user.
Also, you should NEVER EVER push someone else into doing something. HE should break up with her on his own. If he's not breaking up with her, it's because he doesn't want to. Remember, he's the one that asked her out in the first place! He must like her. Now he's got BOTH of you interested in him and can even play you off each other to get even more attention for himself.
So my advice is to back off here. Yes, you like him, but he is being incredibly selfish. If he really cared what you thought, he would have talked to you BEFORE asking this other girl out. If he really cared about this girl he's dating, he wouldn't be talking to you too about dating, while he's already got a girlfriend! He's treating both of you with little respect here. It's time he get his head on straight and decide what he wants before he makes both of you miserable.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com