My Ex Got me Pregnant and Left

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi my question is regarding what i should do about my last relationship. We were talking for about 6 months and with in that 6 months i had gotten pregnant and from that point on things werent going so well between him and i. I was confused, frustrated, and mad. He was at times understandable and other times he would get upset with me.

I ended up having an abortion even though all my life ive lived against them. I regret it all the time and think about it all the time my due date was to be may 2004.

Me and him no longer have a relationship and i wish at times we still did. Ive talked to him about the way i feel and let him know what my feelings are towards him. He hasnt yet expressed none of that to me. We talk sometimes threw text messaging about hanging out as friends but then we never do.

I want him back and apart of me dosnt want him in my life because hes proved to me that hes not man enough to really take care of his actions. Hes 20 years old and im only 19 so were still young. So now i need advice on whether i want or need him back and if so how? How would i get him back? or how will i over come this? Advice
There is a huge difference between dating someone as a fun partner and considering settling down with a person for the rest of your entire life and raising a child. Children take incredible amounts of work to raise, cost a lot of money and change your entire frame of mind. A child should always be planned for and prepared for if at all possible. For health reasons alone, a woman who isn't taking her vitamins BEFORE and during those first few months of pregnancy can cause serious health issues for the unborn child.

This guy was obviously not the guy to raise a child with at this time. He got hit with that responsibility and couldn't handle it. So I think it's important to accept that this child wasn't meant to be and look forward to the child that WAS meant to be. There's a saying that there's no use crying over spilt milk. You need to accept what happened in the past, let it go, and work on what your future holds.

You've been making efforts to include this guy in your life despite the past events, and he really just doesn't sound interested. There is NEVER any way to make someone love you. Love is a two way street, it HAS to be strong on both sides for it to work. So instead of trying to pressure this guy into "giving in" and being with you. I think it's time for you to take a step back. He just isn't ready. Spend more time with your friends, spend time in clubs that reflect your hobbies, and get out and enjoy life. When you meet a guy that IS good for you, you'll know it. And when you two are both ready and know that you want a family, then you can plan for it, prepare for it, take your vitamins and care for your health, and give that child the best possible life it can have. Your child deserves that.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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