She Talks to her Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i have a question. i have been with my girlfriend for 3 months now. we have done wonderful things, and well our relationship is perfect, but what i really came to ask, is that, she still talks to her ex, and i dont want her too. is it wrong if i do? i mean, he has broken her heart alot of times, and he still wants to get back with her. Help? Advice
It's actually a very good thing that she still cares about people she broke up with. You date people you are friends with, and if you just ended up hating every person you broke up with, that's a pretty large burden to carry around with you. Friends aren't that easy to find in the world, why toss them out just because a relationship didn't work out?

Sit down and talk with her about your fear - that she will be swayed by the ex still wanting to date her. While having male friends is something you should encourage, there are also lines that most people draw about those male friends staying *friends*. So most couples say that talking and good-bye hugs are OK, but that kissing or doing other sexual things is not OK. Also, talking is OK but say talking sexually to each other is not OK. So it's reasonable to say that him bringing up that he wants her to break up with you is NOT ok because that's not him being a friend, it's him being a predator. And if he does start that, that she needs to put a stop to it.

On one hand, you have to trust her with other men. If you're going to worry any time she's with another guy, whether it's an ex or a handsome guy or whatever, the relationship won't work. On the other hand, if this ex is a predator and is playing on her friendship to break you two up, he's not being a friend. And she has to be able to think clearly about that difference. Her talking to a friend is fine. But her letting him try to break you two up is not fine.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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Try to believe her
User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Male

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