I Cheated On my Guy
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
okay i went to my friends house and that night me and my friend went skating and like i kind of had a buzz still from earlier and well i met this dude but i had no clue who he was or anything and well i did a sexual act with him and i didnt tell my boyfriend till a month after. so can you give me advice what to do now? and how to make it up to him?
It's easy to make excuses about why you did things. But really, if you are a person in a committed relationship, it is always your responsibility to make sure you don't end up in that situation. Let's take an example. Say your boyfriend got really drunk and went with his friends to a strip joint. Say he then paid for a lap dance - and then say he and the stripper went off and cheated on you. He could say "Oh but I was drunk, it doesn't count." But the moment you deliberately do things to yourself to make yourself lose control - and then start making decisions like "Oh let's go to a strip club" you are in essence just asking for trouble. There's a reason you stay in control - it's so you can control what you do. If you let yourself get into an uncontrolled state - and then go put yourself into situations with people of the opposite sex - and then let yourself go be with them alone, that is a LOT of decisions you have made, one after the other, that disrespect your partner. They weren't all mistakes.
You really need to ask yourself if you are really ready for a one-on-one relationship. A lot of people simply aren't. They like the fun of the chase, the excitement of being with other people. They like the danger of flirting and the fun of touching new people. If that's you, then accept it and don't keep hurting someone by promising to be true.
But if you REALLY truly feel that you are meant to be with one person only - and don't have a feeling that you are "missing out" with that choice - then start living it every day. The only way you can show your boyfriend that you will be true in the future is to BE true, to show him respect, and to work with him daily on rebuilding that faith. All relationships are built on faith and trust. It's a long hard road to fix it once shattered. Read through all the tips on my site to help you do that, if that is the road you choose.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com