I love her, she left me

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Alright, this girl and I broke up awhile ago..2 months and 10 days to be exact. I love her with all my heart, and she loves me too, but she let me go..and i dont understand. im so confused and stuff, i think about her all the time and i dont know what to do anymore, i see her at school and i feel i just want to cry because shes like..kinda with this other guy, but he doesnt really care for her, i hung out with him at a party last weekend and he was talking about how he got head 2 weeks ago, then he went into the bathroom and hooked up with a chick.

I was scared, cuz i love her and i dont want to see her get hurt, so i told her, and she kissed me, it felt so right..but yet she doesnt want me..I have no clue what to do..waht should I do, move on..or stick with her..i never thought it was this hard to get someone you really loved, and showed u do..please, help me out, im in a lot of pain and suffering.

RomanceClass.com Advice
If love was really easy, you probably wouldn't appreciate it as much :) Love is a serious, continual effort between two people to keep the relationship going and happy. It sounds like you care for her deeply but that she felt like something wasn't quite right. And she's looking for that 'something' elsewhere but isn't having a good time of it.

It sounds like she wasn't very up-front with you when you broke up, and didn't let you know why she did it. That's one of THE most important things you can do when you break up - talk about what caused the relationship to fail - so you both can at least move on and find a new relationship that works. So if she didn't do that for you, I would sit down with her and ask her. Don't say "what was wrong with me." Say, "Together we couldn't address the problems we faced. I still don't understand the problems and it's hurting me. Please help me understand what those problems were." If she understands that you're serious, and you really want to grow and learn, she should be willing to talk to you about what she felt wasn't right about the relationship.

Once you really find closure with her, you can move on. That can involve staying her friend, and being there for her. Who knows, maybe once you actually discuss the problems together and bring them into the open, you'll realize that they can be addressed together and you can be together again. Or maybe you'll both realize that it really wasn't meant to be between you two, but now that you have a good handle on what it was that hurt that relationship, you'll be better able to go into a new one with a fresh outlook and attitude.

In any case, be her friend, because friendship is very important in life. And be open and honest with her. The rest will work out well for you if you do - either with her or with someone else who might be better suited for you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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