Dating a Recently Divorced Guy at Work

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
there is a guy that i work with...we became really good friends straight away. He was going through a bad divorce, and all we did was hang out. nothing romantic ever happened.

this had continued on for 6 months...then a month ago out of nowhere he kissed me. Now I'm confused. he says he didn't plan on this happening, he didn't realize the feelings he has for me, he doesn't know what to do about his daughter. He started acting distant...I backed way off. then we finally hang out again, he said he missed me..but he never called. he asked me if I really had feelings for him. I replied that i did. now we are back to weird again. he doesn't call...what is going on? Advice
It's always SUPER hard to have a relationship at work. If things go sour, it screws up your finances. You need to be very careful about how you handle this, and consider what you will do if it really turns out poorly. Would you be willing to switch jobs? Would he?

That being said, as long as one of you doesn't work for the other (i.e. boss-secretary, that sort of thing), it could work out as long as he gets through his rebound issues. Surely you can understand how this would be confusing for him. He's just been through a nasty breakup. He wants to feel needed. He feels comfortable with you because you two work together. But he doesn't want to be hurt again. He doesn't know if he's latching on to you because you're "there" or because you really are a good soulmate for him long term.

Give him the time and space he needs. Only after he really recovers from the divorce and is through the rebound stage will he be able to "date" anybody else (including you) without the relationship being questionable.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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