He Only Wants a Pure Girl
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend has a major problem with the fact that I wasn't a virgin when we got together. He is very jealous of my two previous realtionships and constantly tells me that he can't be with a tainted girfriend. I wasn't pure, and he makes me feel like a whore that I know I'm not. He always apoligizes for being so mean to me, and it is so hard to stay upset at him, because sometimes I think he is right. I regret being with anyone but him, but he won't believe me. I don't regret what I learned from them. How can I help him get over this issue, without loosing him?
Good God Almighty, what does he think you are, his toy or something? You are a human being. You have had a TON of experiences before you met him. You had crushes on guys. You kissed guys. That is what life is all about. You are NOT TAINTED. You are a HUMAN BEING. Part of loving a human being is loving everything there is about them including their past. You are doing yourself a great disservice by just blowing off his prejudices.
In the "old days" a guy wanted a girl that was pure for one reason only - to guarantee that any child that came out of her was 100% created by him. A woman was property, like a milk cow, to create pure babies. Surely you are not going to think of yourself like that??
I would really get him to talk to someone about this. And I honestly hope that you do not stay with him if he persists in this thought pattern. There is no way I could ever date someone who disrespected me like this. If he is so insecure that the only girl he can date is one that has never been touched by any other male hands, he should go buy a plastic blow up doll.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com