Settling Down vs Roaming
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I really love the person I am with a lot. But I have never been the type of person to stay with one person for a long time. I feel that it is time for me to move on, but he wants me to stay. I want to stay because I don't want to hurt him, but I really believe it is time for me to go do something else with my life. I don't feel as strong as a love for him as he does for me. He is so afraid to lose me and I have left people that I thought I have loved before. I don't think I know what real love is and I don't think I'm really looking for it. Should I stay and keep him happy or do what my heart is telling me and move on?
We all have different stages we go through. Some people go through a restless stage. Think of it in this way. What if you were feeling young and carefree, and wanted to go visit all the countries in Europe for a year. Say you had that ability because you were still young. Sure, some poeple at that same age might be considering settling down. If you forced yourself to settle down, you'd always regret not having had that big adventure. Surely there is enough time to settle down later, when you want to, vs forcing yourself to stay in one place when what you really want is to explore and learn.
I don't mean to be harsh here, but you can't live your life based on what other people want you to be. It's sad that he wants to settle down. You simply don't yet. He can't force you to be different, to suit his needs. The most important thing about love is that both people truly match each other. He needs someone that wants to settle down and be with one person. You want to roam and explore. It would be just as unfair for him to force you to change as for you to force him to change. So if you want to explore, then you need to take that step. If he wants to settle down, he needs to find someone who is also at that stage in her life.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com