He Doesn't Want to Settle Down - I Do
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating a man for the past six years and he recently broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore. I wanted a future, a home and a family and because of this I believe I scared him away. We have had a pretty open relationship except for the past six months. I noticed him pulling away and I continued to bring up the future and what I wanted without any answers from him. It has been a month and I still am not with him. When we speak it is unpleasant and I am so hurt.
Do you think there is any hope for us? He has told me to act as if we are never getting back together but I still believe he has a longing for me. He told me he is confused and half of him wants me and half of him does not. I love him and I want to wait for him but I need to know what to do and how to make us a possibility again. Can you please help me?
Every human being goes through different stages in life. We aren't all the same and we don't all want the same things. Some of us go through a wild stage where we want to drive around the US in a van. Some of us go through a domestic stage where we want a little cottage with a grassy back yard. We change our minds over time to want new things. It can very well be that he loves you - but doesn't want to settle down yet. That would be quite normal. You're trying to make him choose, and change to be what you want him to be.
If he doesn't want to settle down yet, then he doesn't. Your choices are to either treat him as a friend and be willing to wait to see if someday he does want to, or to treat him as a friend and open your eyes to other guys in your life that ARE at the settle down stage.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com