She Cheated Repeatedly - Now I Don't Trust Her
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Last year, my girlfriend's best friend told me about how many times my girlfriend has cheated on me. But it wasn't all with sex. So I told my girl about it, and she admitted it. I then broke up with her. A couple weeks later, we talked it over, and decided to get back together. She then actually showed me her journal with all the nasty things that she has done. I have forgiven her. She cries about how sorry she was a lot, and still does today. We have been together since May and we love each other very much.
But my biggest problem is that it's very difficult to deal with. I think about it everytime she goes out to parties or when she goes home for spring break. I get so depressed about it. I wish i could get over it, but i can't. It bothers me too much. I have no idea what to do in this situation. Could you please help me?
Normally I would say that a person has to get past their jealousy. But in this case, she cheated on you *repeatedly*. She kept lying to you. Once she sets up that pattern, how can you really trust her in the future? She felt it fine to lie when it suited her. Right now she's telling you the truth because it suits her. If she runs into a seductive situation in the future, how do we know she'll tell the truth, when her history shows she lies when it suits her?
The only way trust is rebuilt is over time. It is a long, long process. If she's just taking off to parties without you, she's not doing her part. Why isn't she taking you with her? Why is she taking off on spring break?
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com